2 Stories That Will Leave You Shook

The Language of Deceit

My boyfriend won’t stop giggling with my female co-worker and teaching her his native language. Vera started at my waitressing job four months ago.

And the moment she saw my boyfriend, Haido, she decided he was hers. When she saw us having lunch for the first time, she waited until I got up to use the bathroom, then sat down in my seat next to his.

She pressed her hips against his and flashed a flirty smile before saying “Konichiwa” You see my boyfriend is half Japanese like me, and Vera hated that we had something to bond over that she couldn’t be a part of.

So when he awkwardly set it back, she saw this as her chance. She grabbed a pair of chopsticks and started trying to eat her noodles, complaining about white-washed girls appropriating his beautiful culture, very obviously referring to me.

When I came back from the bathroom, she told me to grab a chair, telling me I was welcome to join in on their conversation. It definitely struck a nerve, but I was so secure in Haido and I’s relationship, I didn’t even mind until Vera started trying to implode us.

Sowing Seeds of Discord

She’d corner him when I wasn’t looking and tell him innuendo style phrases in Japanese that she got off Google Translate. Whenever we were talking, she’d always squeeze past us very slowly.

Sometimes making sure to rub her behind against Haido and other times facing him directly and giving him the fi eyes. The thing that really made me mad was when she asked Hito to come teach her Japanese at her house after work.

I was going to confront her there and then, but we were in the middle of a very busy service and I told myself I’d do it right after. Big mistake.

You see, at some point during service, these important Japanese businessmen came in for food. They were at my section, but Vera practically shoved me aside to serve them.

“Please speak Japanese I understand everything.” She told them.

They looked pleasantly surprised and started rattling off their order with specific modifications and allergies. Vera just kept saying “Hi hi” while scribbling nonsense.

Chaos in the Kitchen

45 minutes later it was chaos. One guy got served the wrong starter.

Another received two sushi orders instead of his chicken chowine. And the third guy actually started having an allergic reaction to shellfish which he asked to exclude.

That’s when Vera did it. While Haido ran to get the EpiPen, she pointed at me and told her cousin, who was the manager, that I changed the order to sabotage her.

And without verifying anything, her cousin wrote me up on the spot in front of everyone. One more incident and you’re terminated.

I went home crushed and just cried to Haido. I was wondering if just quitting was my best option until Haido suggested something.

“If she wants me to teach her Japanese let’s do exactly that” Over the next few weeks, we set our plan into place.

The Art of the Insult

At the restaurant, Haidito and I feigned relationship problems. And of course, Vera jumped at the opportunity to comfort him.

She started sitting next to him again, placing his hand on her shoulder, getting dangerously close. And then Haido went for it.

He offered to teach her Japanese. Not at her house, just here in the restaurant, but she jumped at it like Spongebob hearing the goofy goober song.

Before I knew it, they were in the back together laughing at each other and grinning ear to ear. Hayito was teaching her phrases and she was listening to him with puppy eyes and repeating everything in the most seductive anime e-girl voice she could put on.

Me and Heto would exchange quick glances trying not to laugh because these phrases were just ridiculous. Very soon, he convinced her to start saying these phrases to customers.

I would waitress next to her and hear her say “kuso baba” meaning crappy old hag, to an elderly Japanese lady.

I would have to clench my jaw tight so I wouldn’t laugh. Another absolute gem I heard from here in one day alone were “busu shine” meaning ugly beach go die, to a little seven-year-old girl with autism.

What made the whole situation so much better was how every time after insulting a customer, she’d run to Haido to tell him she did it like she was a 4-year-old kid showing you how quickly she could eat her crayon. All while Haido would just smile at her and tell her she was doing great.

For weeks Vera insulted customers in Japanese telling them “Kusokut shine” eat shit and die, oh my “nozzo wakushiro” f your ancestors or my personal favorite “orbaka wakari” I’m stupid and think I know what I’m saying.

The Birthday Party

But then the owner’s mother’s 85th birthday party happened. She was fully Japanese and seeing her son for the first time in three years.

The owner was there and they reserved an entire section to themselves. It was set to be an amazing night.

Vera was waitressing and that’s when Haido did it. He convinced her to go take the woman’s order and told Vera to take it in Japanese, which she did.

She went up to the owner’s mother and with the confidence of a Bradley Martin in a street fight with an MMA fighter said meaning “Hello you dumb old good for nothing beach Kiss my behind” The restaurant went silent.

The owner’s face went from normal to white in about 2 seconds, and I watched his hands start shaking as he gripped the edge of the table. His mom just sat there frozen with her mouth open staring at Vera like she couldn’t believe what just happened.

Every single person at the birthday party table had stopped talking and turned to look at Vera, who was still standing there with this huge smile on her face like she’d just done something amazing. The owner pushed his chair back real slow and stood up.

And when he spoke, his voice was so quiet it was actually scarier than if he’d yelled. “Could you please repeat what you just said to my mother?”

Vera straightened up and repeated the whole thing again even louder this time. And she actually did this little bow at the end like she was performing on stage or something.

The owner’s mom started talking to him in Japanese really fast and her voice was shaking. And that’s when I saw it happen: the exact second Vera’s smile started to fade because she realized something was really, really wrong.