Father’s funeral, My husband changed the lock of the house which I inherited. he: if you don’t like!

A Life Built on Reciprocity

Hello, I am a 50-year-old woman. From a young age, I embraced a belief in reciprocity, trusting that my diligence and commitment would be equally reciprocated.

This belief permeated my relationships. I was convinced that showing kindness to others would mean kindness would be returned to me.

Even after I got married, I continued to uphold this principle. I hoped that my considerate actions towards my husband would be mirrored by him.

Back in those days, the expectations placed on women were different. We were often expected to make numerous sacrifices.

I embraced these expectations wholeheartedly, dedicating myself to my husband and children. I was confident that these sacrifices would pave the way to a fulfilling future.

However, life didn’t turn out as I had hoped. Despite my tireless efforts and early mornings dedicated to my family, my work often went unappreciated, overshadowed by complaints and overlooked mistakes.

I wasn’t forced into this lifestyle. I was just an ordinary person who ended up marrying a coworker five years my senior.

Following the societal norms of the time, after the birth of my daughter, I left my job to become a full-time housewife. I never regretted this decision, seeing it as a natural progression for maintaining family harmony.

The Shadow of Betrayal

My life wasn’t like the glamorous ones depicted in TV dramas, but it was stable and manageable. That is, until my daughter reached 9th grade.

It was then that tragedy struck with my mother’s sudden death from a heart attack. During this period of mourning, I discovered my husband’s affair.

While I was enveloped in grief, he found solace in someone else. He became distant and eventually demanding a divorce.

In those days, divorce was frowned upon. Despite my husband’s irresponsible and cold behavior, I was reluctant to consider it.

Looking back, I realized how naive I was. But there was more at stake, especially with my daughter witnessing our crumbling marriage.

A Father’s Refuge

Despite my efforts to avoid divorce, I found myself in a profoundly unhappy situation. During a particularly intense argument about our impending separation, my father came to visit.

He had recently lost his wife and seen his daughter suffer in her marriage. Witnessing our distress, he offered me refuge and encouraged me to leave with my daughter.

This offer marked a turning point. It provided a pathway out of an increasingly toxic environment and a chance to start anew.

Even amidst the complexities of my life’s unexpected turns, my father helped me see that persisting in a challenging marriage was futile. Overwhelmed by his worry and understanding, I agreed to my husband’s request for a divorce.

In the settlement, he gave me $6,000 in cash. With my father’s backing, I secured a modest three-bedroom townhouse where my daughter and I could start anew.

The Long Road to Harvard

As we settled into our new life, I braced myself for the hard work ahead. I anticipated societal scrutiny as a divorced woman raising a daughter entering her teenage years.

During this turbulent period, my daughter expressed her struggles and lamented the impact of our family’s breakup. Despite the emotional pain, I knew I couldn’t afford to dwell on the past.

I was determined to provide for her, so I embarked on a journey to find stable employment. However, being an older divorced woman with a dependent child presented additional challenges in the job market.

Undaunted, I took on multiple part-time jobs and worked night shifts. I even did freelance work from home when possible.

As time went on, my daughter reached her senior year of high school. Despite our financial limitations, she excelled academically and found ways to flourish.

Motivated by my desire to secure her future, I took a demanding job at a 24-hour restaurant. Working grueling 11-hour shifts, I managed to save two-thirds of my earnings for her college tuition.

I persevered for my daughter’s sake despite facing judgment and the whispers of gossip. Some married men saw me as vulnerable, but the sacrifices were many to afford her opportunities I never had.

A year later, my daughter’s excellent performance in her exams earned her admission to Harvard University. It was a moment of immense joy and validation that made all our previous struggles seem worthwhile.

The Widening Gap

As she embarked on her college journey, I felt a profound mix of pride and relief. I knew that our shared sacrifices had led to such a promising new chapter in her life.

Even though I had managed to provide for her education and a stable place to live, the emptiness of our home was palpable. We kept in touch regularly through phone calls, and our relationship deepened during her newfound independence.

My daughter graduated from college without financial difficulties, a dream that we had both tirelessly worked towards achieving. I had hoped that we might live together again, but she secured a job at a defense corporation and decided to live independently.

To support her, I took out a bank loan and helped with the down payment for a condo near her workplace. Seeing her thrive brought me immense joy and reinforced the value of my sacrifices.

As my daughter entered the dating world, I noticed a growing distance between us. Initially hurt, I came to understand that her adult life and relationships were rightfully taking precedence.

However, her 28th birthday was a poignant moment for me. I looked forward to celebrating together, but she informed me that she had plans with Scott and downplayed any need for preparations.

A Confrontation at the Office

I felt a sting of neglect as her birthday seemed to be just another day to her. Despite my hurt, I decided to take a day off work to see her.

That morning, I made an extra effort with my appearance before heading to her office. But what I encountered in the company lobby left me reeling.

I saw my ex-husband with his new partner, people I had hoped never to see again. When I tried to call my daughter, she abruptly hung up, claiming she was tied up in a meeting.

Feeling bewildered, I turned around only to see my daughter cheerfully calling out to her father and embracing him warmly. Her boyfriend seemed to know my ex-husband and his wife, which intensified my feelings of betrayal.

Unexpectedly, my daughter later came to visit, announcing her engagement and handing me a wedding invitation. The shock deepened when I saw the names on the invitation.

“How could she, my daughter, treat me merely as a guest at her wedding?”

I confronted her, expressing how hurt I felt about being marginalized at such a significant event. I emphasized that I was not just a guest; I was her mother.

My daughter apologized, explaining she felt trapped by the circumstances. She wanted to marry Scott, but his parents scrutinized every detail about her.

She shared concerns that my divorce status and our struggles as a single-parent family might negatively impact her future. She worried her potential in-laws might disapprove.