For Years, My Parents Made Excuses For Excluding Me From Family Trips..

The Tradition of Exclusion

For years, my parents made excuses for excluding me from family trips. But when I went on my most luxurious vacation, they called me a traitor.

My family has been ignoring me from all family vacations for over a decade. They went crazy when I went on an all-expense paid trip without them.

So, I’m 26 years old, and my family has a tradition of taking large travels each year. Last year, they spent two weeks in Hawaii. The previous year, I traveled to Europe for three weeks.

They have a group chat called “family excursions” where they arrange everything. My mother, father, sister Emily, brother Ryan, and Ryan’s wife Sophia are in it. I am not in the chat.

I learned about Hawaii when my mother posted images on Facebook with the description: “Perfect family vacation.”

When someone asked where I was, she responded: “Oh, she had to work.”

I did not have to work. Nobody informed me about the trip.

This has been happening since I was 18. They went to Disney World when I was 19 and informed me the day before that there was no room in the hotel.

They went on a cruise when I was 23 and they said they forgot to purchase my ticket. Every time they have an excuse.

“We assumed you were preoccupied with school.” They said.

“You don’t like boats anyway.” They said.

“Emily really needed sister time with mom.” They said.

The Family Who Chose Me

But here’s the thing: Aunt Deborah, my father’s sister, noticed and began inviting me to everything her family did. This included Sunday dinners, movie nights, and even their small vacations.

Her husband David treats me like I’m their second daughter. My parents didn’t come to my college graduation because they had to attend Ryan’s girlfriend’s birthday party.

But Deborah, David, and Lily drove four hours to see me walk across that stage. I received my $15,000 bonus at work last month.

I booked this insane vacation package to Turks and Chaos. It includes a private villa, butler service, yacht rental, and five nights at a resort that costs more per night than most people make in a week.

I call Deborah and tell her to request time off for her, David, and Lily for next month without explaining why. She trusts me and does it.

The day before we leave, I drive to their house with all of the documentation. Lily screams when she sees the tickets. David sobs.

“I can’t accept this. It’s too much.” Deborah says.

I tell them they’re my real family and that this is happening. The next morning, we fly first class, something none of them have ever done before, and Lily photographs everything.

All Hell Breaks Out

Emily posted on Instagram about their annual family trip planning meeting. A commenter asked: “Is your sister going this year?”

“She never wants to come to these events.” Emily said.

Deborah’s sister read Emily’s post and commented: “That’s funny because she’s in Turks and chaos right now with Deborah’s family.”

All hell breaks out. My mother calls me 15 times in an hour.

My father texts me about how I am betraying the family by taking outsiders on expensive excursions. Ryan leaves me a voicemail saying I’m pathetic for trying to buy Deborah’s love.

Sophia texts asking how much the trip cost because she knows Ryan will want to know. And I don’t answer any of them.

But then Emily does something really stupid. She messages Deborah directly.

“You should be ashamed of yourself taking advantage of my sister like this making her pay for your vacation because you can’t afford it yourselves.” She says.

Deborah screenshots it and sends it to me. Now I’m enraged, so I call Emily and put her on speaker so everyone can hear.

“What’s your problem?” I ask.

She starts ranting about how I’m wasting money on random relatives when my real family struggles to pay for their trips. I go: “You people traveled to Hawaii without me. You traveled to Europe without me. You’ve excluded me from every family holiday for 10 years.”

“You wouldn’t have liked those trips anyhow. You’re too tight.” She actually says.

“Deborah attended my college graduation. Where were you?” I tell her.

She is quiet. Then continues: “Ryan needed help moving that weekend.”

I remind her that Ryan moved three months after graduation. She tries another angle.

“This is different. You’re rubbing our faces with how much money you have today.” She says.

I chuckle and say: “No, I’m spending my money on people who want me around. Enjoy planning your next family trip. I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time without me just like always.”

She starts to say something else, but I disconnect up. My mom texts me that I’m no longer wanted for Christmas unless I apologize to everyone for being purposefully unpleasant.

“That’s all right.” I reply back.

Deborah has already invited me to theirs, and the rest of the trip is perfect. Lily learns to snorkel, David catches a huge fish, and Deborah and I stay up late talking on the beach.

A Confrontation in the Hallway

When we get home, my father is waiting for us in the hallway outside my door, his arms crossed over his chest. I’ve seen this look on his face a thousand times.

He doesn’t ask if he can come in or even say hello. Instead, he goes right into how I embarrassed the family and hurt my mother’s feelings with my little stunt.

I dig my keys out of my purse and unlock the door without saying anything back to him. “Deborah saw an opportunity to turn me against my real family and she took it.” He says.

He closes the door behind him and begins this whole speech about family loyalty. I drop my suitcase by the door and just stand there listening to him rewrite history.

He keeps talking about how Deborah has always wanted what my mom has. He says how she’s bitter about something from years ago and how this whole vacation thing was probably her idea to make my parents look bad.

I let him go on for about four minutes because part of me wants to see how far he’ll go with this. Then I cut him off mid-sentence and ask him directly why I wasn’t invited to Hawaii.

I also ask about Europe, the cruise, Disney World, and every other trip they took without me. His face does this thing where he actually looks confused as if he can’t remember excluding me from all those vacations.

It’s almost worse than if he’d been smug about it. He blinks at me for a few seconds as if I had just asked him to solve a math problem, then quickly recovers and switches gears.

He says those trips were planned around other people’s schedules. He says I was always busy with work or school anyway, so they didn’t want to bother me.

I take out my phone and begin scrolling through screenshots Deborah sent me. I show him pictures of the family adventures group chat which I was never added to.

I show him the Facebook posts where mom said I had to work when I didn’t. I show him the pattern of lies that goes back 10 years all lined up on my phone screen.

His face hardens as he looks at my phone and he hands it back to me. He says I’m being dramatic and holding grudges over nothing.

And he claims they always assumed I didn’t want to come because I never inquired about the trips. I stare at him wondering how I was expected to inquire about trips I had no idea existed.

He ignores that and keeps going about how I’m making a big deal out of normal family stuff. I tell him to leave.

I say I’m done having this conversation and he needs to go. He doesn’t move from where he’s standing in my living room.

“We need to resolve this as a family.” He says.

Which apparently means me apologizing to everyone and pretending the last 10 years didn’t happen. “If I just apologize for the vacation and for being disrespectful we can move past this.” He actually says.