My Fiancée Wanted a Break Because of a New Guy, So I Packed Up and Moved Cities…

A Disagreement at Work

I’m 34 years old and I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong for refusing to speak with my ex, Sarah, who is 29. There’s a lot of history here and I’ll try to explain it fully.

In mid-2022, I met Sarah at work and we hit it off right away. I soon fell for her and we began dating shortly after.

However, Sarah ended our relationship early on due to a little disagreement. To make matters worse, she caused a commotion in front of everyone at work.

I was sad, but I did not want to quit my job at first. Eventually, I realized I still had feelings for her and seeing her every day was too hard.

A Second Chance and a Secret Plan

That’s when I decided to quit and look for a new job. We lived close together, so we ran into each other regularly over the next few months.

We began conversing again, but despite my feelings for her, I couldn’t bring myself to consider getting back together. I was terribly saddened by what she had done.

After a few months, she told me she regretted ending our relationship over something so petty. She stated that doing it in front of everyone was terrible and she had been reflecting about it ever since.

She appeared sincerely sorry and I could see she meant it. I asked if she wanted to give our relationship another chance because I believed her apologies were genuine.

She consented and by early 2023 we were formally reunited. One year later, everything was going well.

We discussed marriage and constructing a future together, which made me feel prepared to take the next step. I decided to surprise her with a proposal and began working additional hours to pay for a house so we could get married not long after.

The Sudden Request for a Break

I didn’t tell her why I was working so hard since I wanted it to be a surprise. Then, out of nowhere, she requested a break.

I was taken aback and when I questioned why, she refused to explain. Around the same time, I noticed she had been talking non-stop about a new person at her employment.

But then she stopped mentioning him completely, which made me suspicious. Perplexed and hurt, I contacted one of my close friends Emily, not her real name, who together with her partner continued to work at the same company as Sarah.

I complained to Emily about what was going on and asked if she knew anything. She replied she didn’t because she worked in a different department, but she promised to check around.

Emily followed up with me a few days later. She told me Sarah had been feeling distant from me lately, especially since I was working longer hours and not getting out as often.

Emily stated that some of Sarah’s co-workers had encouraged her to take a break, believing I wasn’t treating her well and wasn’t as involved in the relationship. On top of that, they were attempting to link her with a new guy at work, claiming they’d be a better match.

Confronting the Truth

I told Emily about my plans to propose and purchase a home for Sarah and me. That was why I had been working so much; I wanted to surprise her with something large.

Sarah called me after about two weeks and suggested we meet. I agreed, but I made it clear that I needed an explanation for why she wanted a break before we could talk about anything else.

She mentioned how detached I had appeared, adding it made her feel like I wasn’t as invested in the relationship anymore.

“I told her that if she had just spoken with me about it she would have realized there was a reason for my actions, but it didn’t matter anymore.”

She then mentioned the new guy at her employment. I said his name before she could and she was astonished, wondering how I knew.

I assured her that I was not an idiot. I noted how she abruptly stopped talking about him after constantly bringing him up.

She said she’d never cheated on me.

“I said that hunting for someone better at the first hint of difficulties may be considered cheating by some.”

At that point, I informed her I did not want to hear anything else she had to say. It didn’t matter if she wanted to reconcile; I was ending my relationship with her regardless.

Moving Cities and Reopening Wounds

The split left me extremely hurt. I couldn’t bear being in the same town, so I requested my employer for a move and used the money I’d saved for the project to start over in a new city.

While speaking with Emily, she apologized to me. She stated that she had made a mistake by informing Sarah about my plans to propose and purchase a home.

Emily stated Sarah burst into tears after hearing that. Emily’s candor was welcomed, but it did not influence the outcome.

By mid-December last year, I had returned to my hometown to celebrate Christmas and New Year’s with my family. Some friends wanted to throw a party to bring everyone together because many of us had moved away and were only returning for the holidays.

Sarah also received an invitation. We barely spoke that night, just a short “hi” in passing.

I glanced at her and noticed her smiling while speaking with a group of women. That smile recalled so many memories.

I realized that seeing her smile made me feel exactly the same way I felt the first time I saw it. I wondered to myself how screwed up am I that I still feel this way.