I Agreed to Be Her Fake Boyfriend for One Night and Now She’s My Wife
She read it and grinned.
“That’s very forward.”
“I spent 3 hours convincing your parents I’m dating you. Might as well make it real.”
We left the bar together. She hugged me goodbye on the sidewalk, and it felt different from earlier. Less desperate, more genuine.
“Text me,” she said.
“I will.”
I watched her walk to her car and I couldn’t stop smiling. I’d started the night planning to watch basketball alone. I was ending it with a phone number and a date with someone I’d met in the strangest possible way.
I texted her when I got home. “Made it back safely. Your parents didn’t follow me.”
She responded immediately. “They liked you. My mom texted me saying, ‘You seem like a good influence.'”
“Should I be worried that I impressed your terrifying mother?”
“Very worried. She’s already planning our wedding.”
I laughed out loud in my empty apartment. We texted for another hour before finally saying good night.
The next morning, I woke up to a message from Sophia. “Coffee? I promise not to spill it on your laptop this time.”
We met at the same coffee shop she’d invented for our fake origin story. She was wearing jeans and a sweater, her hair down instead of the styled way it had been last night. She looked more relaxed, more herself.
“Hi, fake boyfriend,” she said when I walked up.
“Hi, fake girlfriend.”
We ordered coffee and found a table by the window.
“So, how does this work?” she asked. “Do we keep pretending for your parents or do we actually try this?”
“I vote we try this for real, with the understanding that we’re both disasters who are terrible at relationships.”
“That’s the most honest first date proposition I’ve ever heard.”
She held up her coffee cup.
“To being disasters together.”
I clinked my cup against hers.
“To meeting in the weirdest way possible.”
We talked for 2 hours. She told me about growing up with high-achieving parents who never understood her creative side. I told her about moving away from home to escape expectations.
We discovered we’d both gone to the same college but never met. We both hated cilantro. We both loved terrible reality TV.
When we finally left the coffee shop, she took my hand as we walked to our cars.
“Same time next week?” she asked.
“How about dinner tomorrow?”
“That’s very eager.”
“I’ve already met your parents. Might as well skip the slow buildup.”
She laughed.
“Okay. Tomorrow.”
We went to dinner the next night, and the night after that. By the end of the week, we’d seen each other five times.
It was fast, probably too fast, but there was something about starting with a lie that made the truth feel more important. We didn’t have to play games or pretend to be less interested than we were. We’d already done the pretending part.
3 weeks in, Sophia’s mother called her while we were having lunch together. Sophia put her on speaker.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Hi, sweetie. I just wanted to check in. How are things with Andrew?”
Sophia looked at me across the table. We talked about this—about whether to tell her parents the truth.
“Things are good. Really good, actually.”
“I’m so glad. Your father and I really liked him. He seems very grounded.”
“He is.”
“When are we going to see you two again?”
Sophia hesitated.
“Actually, Mom, there’s something I need to tell you.”
I reached across the table and took her hand.
“The night you met Andrew, that wasn’t exactly how I described it.”
Her mother was quiet for a moment.
“What do you mean?”
“We hadn’t been dating for 3 months. We’d actually just met that night. I panicked when you showed up early and I grabbed him at the bar and asked him to pretend to be my boyfriend.”
The silence on the other end lasted so long I thought the call had dropped.
“Mom?”
“You lied to us?”
“Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“So this Andrew, he’s not even your real boyfriend?”
Sophia looked at me.
“He wasn’t then, but he is now. We started actually dating after that night.”
“I don’t understand. Why would you do something like that?”
Sophia’s eyes filled with tears.
“Because I was embarrassed. Because I knew you were disappointed about the breakup with David. Because I’m tired of feeling like I’m failing at everything.”
Her mother sighed heavily.
“Sophia, we’ve never thought you were failing.”
“You didn’t approve of me leaving law school. You didn’t like me quitting my job.”
“We worried about you. That’s not the same as being disappointed.”
Her mother paused.
“But lying to us, bringing a stranger to dinner, and making us believe he was someone important to you… that crosses a line.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Is he still there? This Andrew?”
“Yes, I’m here,” I said.
“Can I say something?”
“Go ahead.”
I squeezed Sophia’s hand.
“What she did was impulsive and not well thought out, but her reasons for doing it came from a good place. She loves you both, and she didn’t want to disappoint you. And for what it’s worth, I’m glad she grabbed me that night, because she’s amazing and I wouldn’t have met her otherwise.”
Another long pause.
“Then you’re dating now? This isn’t another story?”
“We’re really dating,” Sophia said. “I promise.”
“Well,” her mother said slowly, “I suppose the unconventional meeting makes for a better story than a coffee shop.”
Sophia let out a surprised laugh.
“You’re not mad?”
“I’m processing. Your father will have thoughts when I tell him. But no, I’m not mad. Confused, yes. Mad, no.”
They talked for a few more minutes before hanging up. Sophia put her phone down and looked at me.
“I can’t believe I just told her the truth. How do you feel?”
“Terrified. Relieved. Like I might throw up.”
“All reasonable responses.”
She laughed.
