I Quietly Left After Discovering My Wife’s Affair After 3.5 Years….-Reddit Cheating Stories

I quietly left after discovering my wife’s affair after three and a half years of marriage. A year later, my ghosted ex-wife tracked me down.

After hearing of my wife’s adultery, I moved to the hills. I’m not sure why I’m writing this, but perhaps it will be helpful to someone now that the incident is over and I’ve moved on.

After 3 and a half years of marriage, I learned of my wife’s affair in February 2018. I worked a contract job that occasionally required a lot of travel but also permitted me to work from home when I returned as a director of a technical sales company.

My wife held a very lucrative position. Although things had become a little strained due to her working longer and longer hours and me traveling for work, we still had what I would call a fairly excellent marriage.

Background: five years ago, at a cookout hosted by a mutual acquaintance, I met my wife, who is now my ex. We immediately clicked after we started talking.

To be honest, I felt that being with a woman who was so attractive and articulate was a huge advantage. My rough around the edges demeanor somehow appealed to her.

After a few weeks of dating, we found ourselves smitten with one another. When we would meet at each other’s apartments, the clothes simply flew off.

After 18 months of dating, we eventually got married and moved into a large apartment while saving for a down payment on a home. Things began to change after the first three years of marriage.

Even though I still had feelings for her, I noticed that she would argue over little matters. When I mentioned all the late hours and the increasingly regular work outings, she would grow irate.

Since she had been moving up the corporate ladder, she would claim that it was a necessary component of paying the dues. At least that was her justification.

She informed me that since I was also away for weeks at a time, I had no right to challenge her. In reality, I had only been taking vacations for 3 or 4 days every 5 weeks or so.

I assured her that I could definitely manage cutting back on my travel time. There was never a conclusion to these highly circular arguments.

Looking back, I realized that I was unaware that my wife was having an affair. Aside from our declining sexual life and her persistently late work hours, I would never have suspected anything.

I simply assumed that she was exhausted from her job. But being rejected so often when I tried to start a sexual relationship had taken a toll on my ego.

Although she had a work mobile phone and might have been using it, I didn’t witness the covert texting that I had read about in other articles. She used our spare bedroom as a home office and spent a lot of time there.

Around September 2017, Cathy began returning home from work and spending the evening at a work engagement instead. This increased from one night per week to over three nights each week.

Although I’m not naturally envious, she would undoubtedly be observed by others and I’m aware that she would need to repel some of the males at her workplace. Despite working with more male CEOs than female ones, she gave off the impression that she was primarily engaged in her job.

The first time I suspected she was cheating was a month prior to D-Day. Before returning home, she had made a brief stop at the supermarket.

I was asked to assist her with the grocery shopping. Something pink was glinting from just beneath the front passenger seat of her automobile as I was retrieving a few items from the rear seat.

It was a bra that belonged to my wife. She preferred ones from a certain clothing store, so I knew it was hers.

Looking back, I can see the bra was a warning sign. She always removes her bra first from under her clothes when she’s feeling very lustful.

I’m not sure why, but when I watched this, I felt sick to my stomach right away. I couldn’t understand why her bra was beneath the seat.

I didn’t say anything more. My heart must have been pounding so hard that I nearly passed out because when I brought the bags back to the kitchen, Cathy asked me how I was feeling.

She said that I appeared to have seen a ghost. I simply ignored her remark.

It took everything I had to conceal my emotions, but I did my best not to appear upset or deceived. I made the decision to try to find out whether or not she was seeing someone that night and the following day.

I began to consider all the hints I could have overlooked. Other than the bra, I had no evidence.

She works in an office building downtown, and we live in a reasonably big city. I made the decision to temporarily put the affair idea out of my mind and consider giving her more of my attention.

I prepared a delicious meal and arranged the dining table with elegant plates, silverware, and candles. One Friday after work, I purchased an arrangement of flowers and a lovely bottle of wine.

I pointed out the dinner and everything I had made when she arrived as usual, breezing in after work. She apologized and said she was sorry, but she had to go to a neighborhood hangout to meet up with her co-workers.

She mentioned that she needed to take a shower first, but that she could have a small snack with me before she left. I guess I went utterly silent because my insides flipped on me.

I won’t explain the type of anger I was experiencing at the time, but I had had enough. I took my work cell phone and threw it in her back seat while she was taking a shower.

I had been considering this as a means of using my own phone to find her. I walked into the kitchen after that and threw the food and flowers in the garbage.

After taking a shower, she got ready and looked stunning as always.

“All right, let’s eat,”

she said.

“Never mind, go out with your friends,”

I urged.

After giving me a weird look, she asked me if I was angry.

“I’m sad that you never want to do anything with me,”

I said.

She got upset and sarcastically remarked on my short fuse while telling me to stop acting like a kid.

“Foolish me,”

I muttered as I stood there allowing everything to settle in. For once, I felt we should spend the evening together.

She simply gave me a sly smile and stormed off. I pulled out my second phone and began following my work phone when she departed.

About 20 minutes away at the bar she often visits with her co-workers, I caught her stopping. I made the decision to go find her automobile.

Indeed, it was in the parking lot of the bar. I waited to see if I could see her in my car across the street.

I felt completely different, like a stalker, but I told myself that I had to calm my fear of her whereabouts. I observed her leaving the bar with a man about an hour after I got there.

He had the appearance of an executive from her company. He took hold of her, drew her near, and planted a kiss on her lips.

My body was totally numb and my stomach started to clench up. They went to a different vehicle and climbed in together.

When their automobile pulled out, I tried to keep up with them. You guessed it; they drove to a hotel 10 minutes away.

As I stopped on the street beside the hotel, I saw them exit holding hands and enter. I’d seen enough.

I felt foolish. I began pounding the steering wheel with my fist.

That was it. Something went totally blank inside of me.

I’m not sure if I had an out-of-body experience or blacked out, but as I got better, I felt like I wanted a drink. At this point, my life started on a path I never would have imagined.

I simply began to drive out of town, replaying all that I had just seen. I was crying out of anger, as much as I hate to admit it.

I located a pleasant little tavern on the outskirts of town, some 30 miles away, and stopped in. I ordered a drink while seated at the bar.

The bartender, a lady, said that I looked like someone had taken the wind out of my sails. So, I guess I looked like death warmed over.

“You could say that,”

I answered, half-smiling.

A man sat down beside me and struck up a discussion. Even though I didn’t feel like talking, there was something about this guy that put me at ease.

We struck up a conversation, and eventually my wife’s infidelity came up. I told her that all I wanted to do was get away from her and forget about her.

“You’re not alone, buddy,”

he replied, giving me a backpat.

After giving me a quick glance, he said:

“I experienced that a few years ago. I think there’s a reason why these things occur. Your life can now take a positive or negative turn. I assure you at this point everything is totally up to you.”

His remarks, for some reason, jolted me out of my gloom. Even though I was aware of my pain, I’ve always been able to see things rationally, and he was absolutely correct.

We identified ourselves; Ray was his name. I really liked his salt-of-the-earth vibe, even though he was more of a country guy.

“Are you going to move out?”

he inquired.