I Quietly Left After Discovering My Wife’s Affair After 3.5 Years….-Reddit Cheating Stories

Cathy texted things like:

“We just landed. We’re having a team dinner,”

and so on while she was away.

“Where are you?”

was the question in a few mails.

“Why haven’t you gotten back to me?”

I didn’t answer. My phone exploded with calls and texts when she got home.

She kept trying to get in touch with me, but I ignored her. Her mother also tried to phone me after the first day, but I didn’t pick up.

She didn’t try to engage my father because we aren’t close, and he is the only member of my family that I still have. Her messages grew more urgent after she was ignored for a week.

“What is this?”

was one of the texts she sent.

“We must speak. I’m not sure what you believe you know, but nothing is happening. There isn’t an affair going on,”

she finally texted me after a week of not answering.

“I’m sorry things got out of hand. It didn’t matter that I was involved with someone at work. You were absent a lot while I was preoccupied with my work. I simply made an error. I intended to terminate it. An error.”

I had been waiting for this confession all along, yet somehow it only made me detest her more. Why was she unable to be truthful?

I didn’t have any dreams about a future with this woman. Errors don’t persist for 6, 8, or a year.

Her pleas for me to return and work on the marriage eventually grew pitiful. I refused to respond to her even after she stopped bothering me for a few weeks.

I didn’t want her to learn where I lived or to snoop around in my life. I didn’t want my haven to be destroyed by this woman.

She then began sending nasty texts like:

“You’re a coward. One day you refuse to speak to me. You have no regard for us. Come home, please, so we can discuss. You’re where I am able to visit you. Paul, please, let’s chat and make things right, damn it.”

Although I don’t recall all of the texts, they all appeared to be excuses with minimal genuine regret. In one ear I let them go and out the other.

After a while, I switched my mobile number.

Update June 2018: I received an email from Cathy informing me that she had hired a lawyer and was going to file for divorce. I just said:

“Okay, that sounds good.”

This led to a barrage of emails requesting that I visit her and other things. She wrote that she would stop bothering me if I consented to an uncontested divorce.

After realizing this wouldn’t work, after I consented, I was genuinely free. A few months later, after I moved out of our apartment, I never had to see her again.

She seemed to care more about that than I did. Even though neither of us had any closure, I would occasionally think of her for a few months and, yes, the grief would suddenly come to me like when I heard a song we used to enjoy.

After a while, though, I simply stopped thinking about her.

Update Two: Now that I’m officially divorced, things are going great. In actuality, I got to know a wonderful girl just down the hill from my house.

I was running on the trail. We clicked when I helped her replace a flat tire.

Despite being a few years younger than me, she is fantastic and quite adorable. She refers to me as her mountain man and adores my way of life.

Although I’m not in a rush to commit, I also don’t intend to give up on women entirely. I have no intention of moving out of the trailer anytime soon.

I enjoy being outside and have simplified my life. It made everything easier for me, including the grief and my ex-wife.

I am aware that everyone responds to these situations in a unique way. I was fortunate to be in my third year of marriage and not yet a parent.

I believe I acted in my own best interests. You don’t have to spend your entire life with someone who cheats.

If you experience something similar, try not to think about it too much. Continue living your life as you improve yourself; it will get better.

I hope everyone has the finest possible life. I’ve revised this roughly five times to make it readable, and I just wanted to give you an update on my ex-wife’s condition.

I was worried that my ex-wife was attempting to find me, as I indicated in my earlier post. I left our previous residence, which was around 2 hours away.

I ran into her last weekend at a coffee shop I often visit in the town close to my home. It didn’t seem like a coincidence to me.

Fortunately, I managed to get away before she noticed me.

Third update: I went into town this past weekend to get groceries and made a stop at my normal coffee establishment. I was utilizing their free internet to work on some paperwork for work.

I finished and walked out of the coffee shop. I was on my way to my pickup when I heard someone shout:

“Paul!”

When I turned to look across the street, I saw Cathy. I was being waved at by my ex-wife.

Finally, Armageddon had arrived. She hurried across the street toward me, and I stood there in disbelief as though anticipating an embrace.

She walked over and extended her hand. I stopped her in her tracks by instinctively holding out my arms with my palms up.

She appeared to be in severe pain, then she added:

“I’ve been searching for you, Paul. I’ve wanted to see you since I heard you moved here. Can we have a conversation?”

Guys, I felt like an animal confined in a cage. Yes, I did.

“All right, let’s find a table or something and we can talk for a minute,”

I finally gave in.

When she asked if we could come to my house, I firmly refused. At the end of the street, she trailed me down to a bench outside a small store.

She began by remarking on how much I had changed and how much she liked my new appearance, beard, and level of fitness. She raved about how much my body had changed.

She was wearing a tank top, small white shorts, and her hair in a ponytail, just like I used to enjoy. She was really putting on the charm.

I had my radar set high. She was clearly attempting to activate the sex appeal.

I needed to control myself so I could see where this was headed. She began by saying she was sorry about the affair.

She claimed that after I left, karma had severely impacted her. When her employer learned of the affair, the situation became so tense that she eventually resigned.

Her affair partner, AP, who at the time was engaged, received criticism and was transferred to a different department within the organization. She replied by telling his fiancee the truth after he blamed her for everything, which caused them to split up.

This is when she bowed her head and began to weep. I didn’t say anything; I just sat there and looked around.

She stood up straight and looked at me for a while.

“What do you want from me?”

I asked.

She assured me that she had no intention of having an affair. She stated that the company’s politics and positioning drew her in and that her AP used his charm and influence to corrupt her.

She acknowledged that she felt she was taking advantage of him as much as he was taking advantage of her. After I accused her of cheating, she stated that she intended to come clean.

She drank after work to ease the guilt she felt at the moment because she loathed herself. She claimed that she felt so stupid, so alone, and as if her heart had burst with loss immediately after I departed.

She ended her relationship with her AP right away. She believed she had to find me to see if there was any chance of reconciliation.

Because I refused to speak with her or get in touch with her, she desired a fresh start. She hoped we could start afresh, even though she knew we were divorced.

I simply gazed at her. I then gave it to her:

“You have no right to come out here and undo all the harm you have done. Do you think I’ll overlook everything you did to destroy our union? As I previously stated, we were done if you cheated. Forgiveness does not exist. This relationship will not be restarted. You murdered it as soon as you left me. You ruined everything we had. How foolish do you believe me to be? One evening I watched you enter a hotel with him. Were you aware of that?”

I became aware that people were beginning to notice that my voice had been getting louder. She grabbed my arm and started crying.