I’m Glad My Sister Stole My Boyfriend. He Gave Her An STD. I Found…

An Unexpected Proposal

I am glad my sister stole my boyfriend; he gave her an STD. I found real love while she faced an incurable disease.

She is now crying in regret. My sister Olivia chatted about herself for the third time that hour while I pushed food around my plate at the dinner table.

Olivia treated every dinner like a TED talk. Instead of a diamond ring, she tilted her hand to capture the light as she spoke, inspecting her manicured nails.

Luke, my boyfriend, scrolled his phone under the table next to me. His mind had been wandering while I sat next to him.

Will, Olivia’s boyfriend, sat across from me with his arms crossed. He was watching her with a bored face that said he’d heard what she was saying at least nine times.

“So I’ve been thinking,” Olivia remarked.

She surveyed us like she was giving a keynote. Will said, “Here we go.”

“I have this idea; it’s kind of crazy, but hear me out.” Olivia’s glance curdled milk. He sat back and waited without flinching.

I always believed Will was quiet because he was uninteresting. He’d learned that speaking up around Olivia was fruitless, so I thought he was silent.

Olivia said, “I think you and I should swap boyfriends.”

I laughed out loud after blinking, since she couldn’t be serious. I looked at Luke, expecting him to chuckle.

He wasn’t. He looked up from his phone and watched Olivia more intently than in three months.

“I’m serious,” Olivia said.

She grinned as usual when she wanted anything. She looked sweet but felt threatened.

She waved her hand at Will. “Think about it. Will is so boring, no offense, babe.”

“He never wants to do anything spontaneous; he just wants to stay home and watch movies and cook dinner. It’s like dating a retirement home,” She added.

Will snorted softly. “Better than dating a tornado that destroys everything and calls it excitement,” He remarked.

His speech was quiet but sharp. Olivia ignored him as if she hadn’t heard him.

Olivia added, leaning forward with her chin in her hand and looking at Luke, “He’s adventurous, he’s fun, he’s always down to try new things. I just feel like we’d be way more compatible.”

“It makes sense if you think about it,” She said.

I fixated on her. “You’re insane,” I answered coolly.

“I’m practical,” She said.

“Why should we both be stuck in relationships that don’t fit when we could just trade? It’s not like any of us are married, Ella.” She asked.

“Olivia, that is genuinely the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say, and you once told me you thought the sun and the moon were the same thing,” I said.

“I was twelve,” She said.

“And stop deflecting; I’m offering you an upgrade.” She waved at Will like a game show prize.

Will lifted an eyebrow but said nothing. Luke cleared his throat.

“I mean,” He said slowly.

“It’s not the worst idea.” My whole body cooled.

My neck cracked as I turned to look at him quickly. “Excuse me?” I asked.

He shrugged carelessly, making me want to throw my fork at him. “What? I’m just saying it might be fun to try something different. We’ve been together three years, Ella; things get stale.”

“Stale?” I repeated.

Rough was my voice. He replied, “Yeah, don’t act like you haven’t noticed.”

I noticed. I expected us to fix it jointly, not use it as a pretext to exchange me for my sister.

The Contract

Olivia clapped. “See? Luke gets it. Come on, Ella, one month; that’s all I’m asking.”

“If it doesn’t work out, we switch back and forget it ever happened. No harm done,” She said.

“No,” I answered.

“Why not?” She asked.

“Because it’s crazy, because you’re my sister, because this isn’t a Netflix movie. Pick a reason,” I answered.

Her eyeballs were rolling so hard I believed they’d become stuck. “God, you’re so dramatic; it’s not that serious.”

“Will doesn’t care,” She anticipated his response.

“Right, babe? Tell her you don’t care.” Will stared at me.

Despite his impenetrable demeanor, something sparked behind his eyes. It was exhaustion, possible amusement, or maybe pity.

“Whatever ends dinner faster,” He said.

Olivia smiled like he proposed. “See?”

She took a folded paper from her fancy purse. “I even drafted a little contract: one month minimum, no backing out early, no running to mom and dad. We all agree to give it a real shot,” She said.

She pulled the paper toward me. The trap was set.

“Come on, Ella, live a little. Unless you’re scared Will won’t like you,” She said.

I saw it when she said it. Olivia knew all my buttons from pushing them as kids.

The prudent move was to stand and depart, grab Luke, leave, and never mention this idiotic idea again. Luke was already reaching for the pen.

“Luke!” I yelled.

“Don’t you dare!” He wrote his name without looking at me, like I wasn’t there, like three years meant nothing.

“Relax, babe,” He said.

He handed Olivia the paper. “It’s just a month; might be good for us to shake things up.”

Might be good for us, like I was wrong, like I did something wrong to sour our friendship. Anger clouded my vision.

Two years I gave him; two years of justifying his laziness, selfishness, and inability to prioritize me. He compensated me by signing away our relationship over dinner without thinking.

Olivia signed next, as dramatic and crazy as her personality. Will signed with a hasty scribble, still faintly amused.

Everyone looked at me. Olivia whispered softly, “Ella,”

It was honey-wrapped poison. I should have left; I should have told them all to rot.

Luke signed that form like he was looking for a way out. Something made me refuse to be the pitiful one imploring him to stay.

I seized the pen, scribbled my name in angry strokes, and flung it hard onto the table, making it bounce. Olivia grinned that flawless, polished smile that never touched her chilly eyes.

“Trust me,” She said.

“This is going to be the best thing that ever happened to you.” She had no idea she was right.

I thought I was screwed when I signed that deal. My lover desperately wanted out; he agreed before I could decline.

I was stuck with a dull stranger. My sister didn’t know this when she made me sign the form.

Her dull, safe, uninteresting boyfriend was concealing something that would change everything. After learning the truth, she would go insane.

Neutral Ground

Three days later, Will texted me about coffee. I looked at the message for a minute, wondering if Olivia had put up a trap.

But the text was easy, just “hello,” no games. He figured we should actually talk since we’re stuck together for two months.

“Coffee?” I typed.

“Sure,” I replied before thinking.

We plan to meet at a cafe between our apartments, neutral ground. I arrived twenty minutes early, ordered a latte I didn’t want to hold, and took a corner table.

When Will entered, I almost didn’t recognize him. I’d always seen him sitting next to Olivia, looking like he wanted to melt into the floor.

He entered in a black t-shirt and pants, hands in his pockets, looking utterly different, unburdened, and relaxed. I saw him wave before he sat across from me.