I’m Glad My Sister Stole My Boyfriend. He Gave Her An STD. I Found…

We were silent for a moment. He laughed softly and shook his head.

“This is weird, right?” He asked.

“It’s not just me; it’s extremely weird,” I said.

“I keep waiting for Olivia to pop out from behind a plant and tell me this was all some elaborate prank that would require her to admit she was wrong about something,” I added.

“So we’re safe?” He said.

I snorted. I couldn’t resist.

I realized I’d never seen him smile before. He had not once throughout Olivia’s year of dating him.

“So,” He murmured, resting in his chair.

“How are you holding up with the whole Luke situation?” I clutched my cup and contemplated my response.

The truth was that I’d alternated between wrath and embarrassment for three days. My polished response was that I was okay and managing it maturely.

I went with honest. “I keep replaying it in my head. He signed that form without looking at me, so I was gone in his mind.”

Will nodded slowly. “Yeah, that was rough to watch.”

“Was it obvious?” I asked.

“Our relationship was horrible from the outside?” He pondered the subject.

“I don’t know if bad is the right word. It was more like he wasn’t fully there,” He answered.

“Every time I saw you two together, he was either on his phone or looking somewhere else. You’d be talking and he’d be checked out,” He added.

He stopped himself. “I noticed because…”

“Because what?” I asked.

“Because Olivia does the same thing to me,” He remarked.

“Different flavor, but same energy. She’s not checked out; she’s just waiting for her turn to talk,” He said.

“Every conversation is just her waiting for an opening to bring it back to herself,” He continued.

“The TED talk thing,” I added.

“Exactly,” He said.

“I used to think maybe I was boring. She told me I was boring so many times I started to believe it,” He said.

“But then I discovered she called everything dull that wasn’t about her. An unselected film: boring. Un-Instagrammable restaurant: boring,” He added.

“Instead of going to an expensive club, I want to cook dinner: boring,” He continued.

“She called you a retirement home at supper,” I said.

“It’s new. Usually, it is grandpa, old man, or my favorite: ‘Why are you so obsessed with being comfortable?'” Will imitated Olivia’s voice perfectly, and I laughed harder than I should have.

“She’s exhausting,” I said.

“I love her because she’s my sister, but God, she’s exhausting,” I added.

“She’s a black hole,” Will added.

“Everything gets sucked into her orbit: your time, your energy, your money,” He said.

“I spent $950 on a purse for her birthday, and she returned it because it wasn’t the right shade of beige,” He added.

$950? How the hell could he buy that and not bat an eye?

What did he do for work? I would inquire after he finished ranting about my sister.

“I saw the one she wanted. I bought it. I should have understood that sand and oats are different,” He said, shaking his head.

I was shocked. “Luke neglected my birthday last year; completely forgot,” I said.

“He forgot after I reminded him the week and day before. He yelled at me for being unhappy because birthdays aren’t serious,” I added.

“Olivia demanded a surprise party and was upset that I invited her friends instead of beauticians,” He responded.

“I still don’t know what that means,” He said.

“It means she wanted hot friends for photos,” I added.

“Her friends are hot,” I said.

“Not hot enough apparently,” He responded.

Something changed when we laughed. The discomfort vanished, and we were two battle veterans exchanging scars.

“Will, can I be honest with you?” I asked.

“Please,” He answered.

“When Olivia brought up this whole swap thing, I wasn’t surprised; I was relieved,” He said.

“I’ve been trying to find an exit for months, but every time I brought up breaking up, she’d cry or threaten to tell everyone I was emotionally abusive or say she’d hurt herself. I was trapped,” He continued.

My stomach twisted. “Will, that’s manipulation,” I said.

“Yeah, I know. But when you’re in it, you don’t see it clearly. You just feel guilty all the time and you don’t know why,” He said, stroking his hair.

“Anyway, I signed that contract because it was the first door she’d opened willingly. Even if it’s only a month, it’s a month where I don’t have to pretend anymore,” He said.

I understood that more than I wanted to admit. “Luke made me feel like I was asking for too much,” I whispered of my need for his attention.

“He made it feel like expecting him to remember things was demanding. I kept shrinking myself to fit into whatever space he left for me, and it was never enough,” I added.

“We both chose wrong,” Will remarked.

“We really did,” I answered.

He smiled, and his features softened with that modest smile. “Well, silver lining: at least we’re stuck with each other now instead of them.”

“Is that a silver lining?” I asked.

“I guess we’ll find out,” He said.

I grinned back. I felt something other than fury for the first time since that dinner fiasco; I felt seen.

“Hey, random question,” I said.

“What do you do for work? I realized I don’t actually know anything about you. Olivia never talked about you unless she was complaining,” I added.

Will paused. Something flared on his face; he was deliberating on how much to share, not uncomfortable.

“I actually just quit my job,” He stated.

“Three weeks ago,” He added.

“Oh,” I attempted to remain indifferent.

So how did he afford the $950 bag? Was he secretly a trust fund baby?

“Are you looking for something new, or…” I asked.

“Not exactly,” He said, sipping his coffee.

“I quit because I don’t need to work anymore,” He added.

He nervously laughed. “This is going to sound insane: I won the lottery. Like actually won. Not like a hundred bucks; I mean, I won millions.”

I was choking on my latte after coffee went down the wrong pipe. I coughed for thirty seconds while Will offered me napkins, appearing worried.

“Sorry,” He said.

“I probably should have led with that,” He added.

“You probably should have,” I wheezed.

“Millions?” I asked.

“Yeah, millions plural,” He answered.

“And Olivia doesn’t know?” I asked.

“Nobody knows. I haven’t told anyone. I didn’t even tell Olivia because…” He stopped and stared at me expectantly.

Their connection was instant. “Because she’d never let you go,” I said.

“Because she’d never let me go,” He said.

“She’d suddenly love everything about me. The staying home, the cooking, the comfortable quiet life—all of it would become perfect the second she found out there was money attached,” He added.

Back in my chair, I watched him. This man my sister had thrown away because he wasn’t exciting enough.

This man she called boring and safe and compared to a retirement home. He was a millionaire, and she had absolutely no idea.

“She’s going to lose her mind,” I remarked.

Will set his jaw. “Yeah,” He admitted gently.

“I know,” He added.

A millionaire. This man my sister threw away because he wasn’t exciting enough had just won millions of dollars.