My Brother’s Behavior Toward My Girlfriend at a Wedding Went Too Far
My dad’s case is still ongoing, but his lawyers are apparently trying to negotiate a deal too. His real estate license has been suspended pending the investigation, and most of his business partners have cut ties with him.
The most surprising development has been my mom. After our last phone call, she finally started therapy.
According to Holly, she’s moved out of the family home and filed for divorce from my dad last week. She sent me a 12-page letter apologizing for everything: enabling Samuel’s behavior throughout his life, not protecting me when we were kids, and especially for how they treated Victoria.
She acknowledged that she and Dad essentially created the monster Samuel became by never holding him accountable. I haven’t responded to the letter yet.
Part of me appreciates that she’s finally facing reality, but it’s too little, too late. Where was this insight when Samuel was torturing animals as a kid, or when he was stalking Victoria, or when they watched him assault her at Holly’s wedding?
Victoria and I are discussing whether we might eventually let her have a supervised relationship with Emma, but that’s years away if it happens at all.
Rachel has been in contact with us through Holly. She’s doing better; she’s living with her sister in another state and going through intensive therapy.
She’s filed for divorce and is cooperating fully with the prosecutors. According to Holly, several other women have come forward about Samuel abusing them in the past, including two from his church.
The police are investigating these cases too. Rachel’s parents have been incredibly supportive since the truth came out.
They’ve publicly apologized to her for not believing her sooner and have cut all ties with my parents. They’re even working with domestic violence organizations now to help other families recognize the signs of abuse and manipulation.
The extended family has basically split into two camps. Most younger relatives and cousins have sided with us and Rachel, while the older generation is still making excuses for Samuel and my dad.
Holly’s mom, my aunt, started a family therapy group for relatives who want to understand how things got so bad and how to do better for the next generation. As for me and Victoria, we’re focusing on our daughter and our life here.
Victoria went back to work part-time last week and she’s been promoted to director of pediatric nursing. I’m still working remotely but might start my own software consulting business soon.
We’ve built a wonderful community here with great friends and chosen family. Sometimes I think about reaching out to my mom or responding to her letter, but then I look at Emma and think about how my parents would have expected me to let Samuel around her if we were still in contact, claiming he deserved another chance.
That thought alone confirms we made the right choice in staying away. The cycle of abuse and enabling in my family ends with my generation.
Emma will grow up surrounded by healthy relationships and people who respect boundaries. Sometimes cutting off toxic family is the best thing you can do for your kids, even if it hurts.
