My Kids Purposely Forgot Me For 20 Years, So I Changed My Name & Never Came Back!
This time, it was Christopher who accidentally mentioned something in a text message he sent me by mistake. A message clearly meant for someone else said, “Good thing Jennifer and the baby are already home.”
I replied immediately, asking what baby, when had he been born, and what was his name. He called me an hour later.
His voice had that tone of annoyance that was already familiar to me.
“Mom, I thought Jennifer had told you. The baby was born two weeks ago. His name is Daniel. Everyone is fine.”
I begged him to let me go meet my grandson. He told me he would talk to Jennifer and let me know.
Three months passed before they finally allowed me to visit them. Three months in which I insisted and begged; I called every week until finally Jennifer gave in, just to stop me from bothering them.
When I arrived at her house that day with gifts I had bought with the little I had, she met me at the door with the baby in her arms. She did not invite me in.
She simply stood there, letting me see the child from the threshold. I told her with tears in my eyes, “He is beautiful. Can I hold him?”
She replied, “He is asleep, Mom. Better not wake him up. I just wanted you to meet him.”
I told her, extending the bags, “Here are the gifts.”
Taking them without looking at them, she said, “Thanks. I will look at them later. I have to go, Mom. The baby needs to eat soon.”
And that was it. My first meeting with my grandson lasted less than five minutes, standing at the door of my daughter’s house as if I were a door-to-door salesperson.
I cried all the way back home. I cried for that boy who would never truly know me, who would grow up without knowing who his grandmother was, and who probably would not even know my name.
When her second child was born two years later, I did not even bother waiting for them to tell me. I checked her Facebook obsessively until I saw the photos of the birth—a girl, my granddaughter.
I sent flowers to the hospital, but I never knew if she received them. I sent gifts to her house—expensive baby clothes that took me months to save up for—but I never received confirmation that they had arrived.
It was like sending messages into the void, screams into the silence that never got an answer. With Christopher, it was the same or worse.
His wife, Sarah, got pregnant, and I found out through a social media post that someone shared. They had not even given me the news directly.
I called Christopher, but he did not answer. I sent him congratulatory messages—nothing.
I tried to contact Sarah directly, but she had blocked me on all platforms. It was as if I were a virus they needed to protect themselves from, a threat to be kept away.
When my granddaughter on Christopher’s side was born, no one told me anything. I found out three months later when a cousin posted a family photo where the baby appeared.
Three months—my family celebrating a new member, and I did not even know she existed. I tried to visit them; I went to their house unannounced, just like I had done with Jennifer.
I rang the doorbell several times, but no one opened, even though I knew they were inside because I saw movement behind the curtains. I stood there like a fool for half an hour, knocking and knocking.
Finally, a neighbor came out and asked me if I needed help. I explained, feeling the humiliation burn my cheeks, “I am waiting for my son.”
The woman looked at me with pity. She told me kindly, even though we both knew it was a lie, “I think no one is home, ma’am.”
I left there with my heart broken into pieces, understanding that my own children preferred to hide from me than open the door and talk for five minutes. My grandchildren’s birthdays were another kind of torture.
I sent gifts religiously for each one—toys, clothes, books. I spent what I did not have, trying to buy even a small space in their lives.
But I never knew if my grandchildren opened those gifts, if they liked them, or if they even knew who sent them. Probably Jennifer and Christopher received them and stored them or gave them away without telling the children who they came from.
It was easier that way—easier to erase me completely than to explain why the grandmother they never see keeps sending things.
Two years ago, I sent Daniel, my oldest grandson, a bicycle for his eighth birthday. It cost me $500—$500 that took me six months to save.
