My Mom Threw Me Out for Her New Family, Then Demanded Tuition Money For…

Unexpectedly, my mother discovered that I earn a good living even though we haven’t spoken for many years. At nearly 33, I currently hold a Senior Management role at the same organization where I began my career. About four months ago, I got a big promotion, but I wanted to keep it a secret so only a select few individuals knew about it.

To thank my uncle for co-signing my loan back when I was having trouble paying for college, I did inform him. According to what I understand, he just met my mom and Harry at a family get-together and urged her to get in touch with me to congratulate me on my success. Even though I’m sure he meant well, it didn’t work out because she didn’t even get in touch with me to offer me congratulations.

In the end, my mother learned about it and recently visited my home with Harry, insisting on talking to me. I should note that I haven’t spoken to her since I started college. I blocked her everywhere and left her out of my life after graduating since I didn’t think there was any use in hoping she would change her mind.

She didn’t appear to be negatively impacted, and to be honest, I doubt she even noticed. Only my grandparents, who were aware that I disliked discussing my mother, were in contact with me, and they steered clear of the subject. I didn’t really stay in touch with my uncle either, so I was unaware that my mom and Harry had been having financial difficulties for a few years.

Only when they arrived at my door and told me how bad things had gotten did I find out. It was wishful thinking, but the only reason I even allowed them inside was because I hoped they would be coming to make amends. They began by stating that they had heard from my uncle about my promotion and how I was one of the youngest individuals in such a prominent position in my firm.

Rather than congratulating me on my accomplishment, it seems that they were surprised that I had kept it from them. Ironically, I was taken aback that they expected me to communicate with them at all, much less deliver any positive news. Additionally, they were disappointed that I had shut them out of my life, claiming that it was only because they had prioritized their children above me.

They maintained that I should have been old enough to comprehend their rearranged priorities and not harbor resentment as a teenager. They said that I should have supported their decisions rather than going in with my grandparents. I’m not even sure why they thought I would agree with their choice to expel me from the house. They tried to gaslight me into thinking that I was the bad guy for being angry that they had ejected me so they could spend time with their children alone, but that’s how they began our reunion after all these years.

They talked about how tough the past several years had been for them without even giving me a chance to explain my side of the story. They described how they had launched their own company, but regrettably, it did not succeed, resulting in losses. They were now attempting to make up for previous losses, and they desperately needed money as the twins were getting close to college age.

I saw then why they had come: they needed financial assistance. They didn’t waste any time going right to the point, even trying to soften it by claiming that I could make it up to them by paying for my siblings’ schooling. But that at first they were upset that I hadn’t contacted them despite performing well.

Their attempt to make it seem as though they were doing me a favor by allowing me to pay for the college education of two children I no longer knew astounded me.

I told them right away that I wouldn’t be doing that and that it was disrespectful of them to believe they could coerce me into doing so. I became irate and reminded them that they were the reason I had to work during my college years and pay for my own education because they wanted to save for their real children who they believed deserved it more than I did. They had refused to provide me with financial support back then.

I assured them that they had no right to expect anything from me now, particularly financial support since I had never questioned their choice to put the twins first and had just left them alone. They actually no longer had the right to demand that I communicate with them.

Instead of attempting to emotionally control me, I pointed out that they could now use the same money to pay for the twins’ college bills because they had wished to conserve money and resources for the children who deserved it. I had nothing else to say, so I asked them to go. I was stupid to invite them inside my house in the first place, assuming might have come to express regret for their treatment of me.

They became irritated and attempted to place the blame elsewhere when I began to insist that they leave. They informed me that I wasn’t innocent in this case.

They said:

“I was overenthusiastic, over involved, and frequently irritable while we all live together.”

I was only a teenager trying to keep in touch with my family as they drifted away from me, so I couldn’t believe that was a true issue they had with me. They then had the audacity to claim that I was no better than them since I had denied their request.

They said:

“I was forgetting all the years my mother had taken care of me and brought me up alone.” “This was my opportunity to make it up to her and a sister, but I was being rude and unappreciative instead.”

Since I was a child at the time, I thought it was absurd that they would bring that up. Even if I had wanted to, I couldn’t have decided not to rely on them. Furthermore, it wasn’t like they were helping me. They pushed me out of the house and effectively forced me out as soon as they believed I was mature enough to manage things on my own.

For the following 18 years, they refused to acknowledge my existence. I was still shocked that they had the gall to expect me to aid them now, as if I owed them something even after everything that had happened. During the dispute, things became quite personal and ugly, and I finally threatened to call the police if they didn’t leave my property.

My mother reminded me of all the sacrifices she had made when I was younger, ostensibly because she wanted to be a good mother. Before they finally departed after more arguments, she said that I had been ungrateful the one time she had expected me to sympathize with her predicament and allow to put other people before myself. She now claimed that rather than the other way around, I was portraying her as the villain.

Since then, this has been bothering me, and I’m having trouble figuring out whether I’m to blame, whether I’ve been expecting too much from my mother, or whether she’s simply deceiving me.

I decided to post on Reddit to get some unbiased perspectives even though I’m quite sure I’m correct. AITA for not paying for my half-siblings’ college tuition just because my stepdad and estranged mother are having financial difficulties?

Even though my uncle had excellent intentions, I reminded him that what he did was wrong and unacceptable. His actions undoubtedly had a negative effect. I wouldn’t be in this predicament if he hadn’t shared my life with my mother and disclosed my contact details without my consent.

He apologized excessively, stating that he was unaware of their financial difficulties and that he had no idea my mother would respond in this manner. He admitted that he had no business telling my mother about my life and that if we had wanted to get back together, we would have done so without his help. Since his heart was in the right place, I don’t intend to cut him out of my life. I would have been much more angry if he had meant something different; he simply made an error.